Â鶹ÊÓƵ

Patience

Sep 06, 2022

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.” (David G Allen)


What is the best piece of advice your parent has given you? What is the voice in your head that directs you to act in a particular way, holds you firm to a value or gives you wisdom when confronted by difficulty? What is the best advice you have given your child or children? When Gai Waterhouse was asked recently for the best piece of advice her father, trainer, TJ Smith gave her, her reply was swift – “he told me to be patient.” Implicit in the notion of patience is the idea of waiting, the delay of gratification, and the ability to endure - even the toughest of circumstances. 



Waterhouse, as the first female trainer to win the Melbourne Cup, understands patience better than most. It does not mean there was any lack of urgency, low bar of expectations, or a relinquishment of drive - quite the reverse, really. It meant she had no such word as ‘can’t’, it meant she was persistent at banging the glass ceiling until it cracked and possessed a determination to wear others down. Patience does not mean standing stationary. Without patience, and a willingness to persist, Gai Waterhouse would not have carried the Melbourne Cup in the boot of her car for three months, following her epic win. Without her mantra, to keep getting on and doing it, and her willingness to see adversity as an opportunity for growth and an opportunity to appreciate that growth, she would have followed a different pathway. She says, “sometimes you win, sometimes you rise.”


Of course, the advice we give is best seen in our actions, not our words. I watched the Matildas lose with grace to the Canadian women’s soccer team on Saturday afternoon. Down by one goal very early on in the match, the Matildas were patient in seeking opportunities to even and then better the score. They were also persistent and determined. No doubt they will rise from the opportunity to play and lose against one of the world’s best soccer teams. But what struck me most were the Matildas who were waiting for a spot on the field. They were warming up with focus, each half, practising drills and repeating sprint patterns. They were waiting, waiting for their call up to take to the action. Not all got that call up. No doubt within them there was high anticipation and hope surging – and in the midst of that hope and anticipation, they too were learning patience. Sometimes patience is about waiting for an opportunity that might not arrive or might arrive in different packaging and at a different time. It is a skill worthy of our attention. 


Consider the school week that has just passed and with it, the joy of a Junior School Showcase where our girls from Prep to Year 6 presented snippets from their Music/Drama/Dance classes, along with performances from the Junior Strings, Junior Band, Choirs, and the Middle School Voices Choir. It was an Arts feast and a beautiful celebration of ‘becoming’ – becoming confident on stage, becoming confident with self-expression, and becoming part of a team or group with a collective goal in mind. One cannot decide which Prep girl twirling her chiffon scarf as she danced across stage will become a ballerina or an accomplished dancer, nor which choir member will continue to sing publicly throughout her life – and neither should one. Patience is, after all, the calm acceptance that things can and do happen in a different order than the one we have in mind. It is often about simultaneously setting expectations and abandoning them when they become too prescriptive, too detailed, and too unrealistic.


My [then teenage] son, watching me proof-reading Year 1 reports many years ago was stunned by the number of descriptors for each student. With a mix of tongue in cheek and genuine disbelief, he said, “Why don’t they just write – this is Lucy, she is five years old, she’s fabulous – let’s just see how she goes.” There is a lot in that, isn’t there? Yes, the calm acceptance that we, and especially our youngest people, are still becoming … they become who they are over a lifetime, and we need to be patient. All our hopes and intent will not and cannot dictate the path of that becoming. So many factors influence our pathways, our successes and our setbacks, and our ability and interest in learning and improving. The Gai Waterhouses of the world have achieved through dogged persistence and sheer hard work, more than through talent or opportunity. Early mornings, long nights, self-reflection, and the willingness to do things differently, all have their place. So too does patience, the ability to accept the pattern of things, the readiness to wait, and having the faith to believe in the becoming process – the process of a lifetime.


Sometimes we win. Sometimes, we rise within ourselves, when we calmly accept that life rarely follows the order that we imagine for ourselves, or for our children. Patience is indeed a virtue worth acquiring.


Dr Linda Evans | Principal



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And thus, as adults, as we inhabit more than our fair share of sidelines real and metaphoric, during the rundown to the finish line, let us all be gracious in allowing our young people ‘to become’ … a process that is uneven, at times uncomfortable, messy, deeply disappointing and … often wildly exhilarating. Let us enjoy each and every facet and be gracious in the spaces where alignment with expectation is not met in performance or outcome. It is here, in this place, which can feel unpleasant, unsatisfactory and uninvited that the greatest learning and hence the greatest opportunity to become, can occur. If we, as adults who should know better, don’t mess with ‘the becoming.’ “Another ball game lost! Good grief!” Charlie moans. “I get tired of losing. Everything I do, I lose!” “Look at it this way, Charlie Brown,” Lucy replies. “We learn more from losing than we do from winning.” “That makes me the smartest person in the world!” replies Charlie. Win some. Learn some. Become. Dr Linda Evans │Principal  REFERENCE Maxwell, J. (2013) On Turning a Loss into a Gain | Adapted from Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn (October 2013)
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I am soaking in the delights of fiercely contested debating finals, narrow wins and losses on the courts and fields of Toowoomba where the temperature is always colder or hotter than forecast and, the unparalleled joy of Junior School girls dancing on stage without inhibition, some perfectly attuned with the music’s beat and other’s not. I am absorbing the opportunity to witness learning at its essence. Performance in sport or The Arts is a public event. If your artwork is hung in a gallery space it is ‘public’ – open to be appreciated or criticised. If one is singing, dancing, debating or playing an instrument on stage with an audience there is nowhere to hide if an error is made. And, on a court or field – one’s performance is open to scrutiny or praise – or everything in between. Becoming is core business at these times. Anthony Simcoe, perhaps best known for his role as Steve in the epic Australian film, ‘The Castle’ with lines like, “Dale dug a hole, Dad,” or “How much for jousting sticks?” was a gangly fifteen-year-old boy when I first met him at Burnside State High School in Nambour, where he was seeking to master the volleyball dig, serve and set. Who would have imagined his becoming? Even years on, Anthony would say that he learned to become an actor through washing dishes at cafes – earning money between acting jobs – learning to observe the humanness in his customers. He washed a lot of dishes and served a lot of tables in order to become a credible member of ‘The Castle’s’ Kerrigan family. In tedious hours he learned about people and about hard, repetitive work. Repetition is the underpinning pattern of rehearsal and practice. Some of us do it well, others not so. I hear it in action many mornings as I pass the Performing Arts building, I see it on mornings and afternoons in our gym and on our oval. Rehearsal. Practice. Becoming. It is far more palpable; it would seem, than our classroom learning which inhabits a far more private space: often behind a closed door. How special it was, a few weeks ago, to invite the parents of Year 12.1 English to join their daughter, Mrs Anderson and I for a Period Five Friday afternoon lesson of ‘Macbeth.’ Seated in a huge circle in the confines of G24, students directed the lesson: spelling, quotations, thematic discussions and questions, for their parent and the other class members. It was an impressive moment (from a teacher’s perspective anyway) – to see students demonstrate their knowledge in a semi-public forum. It was timely for parents, no doubt, to remember the awkwardness of not knowing an answer, the joy of accuracy as well as the discomfort of feedback about an incorrect assumption – these are aspects of learning with which our students grapple, daily … as they become. There was delight in sharing the messiness of learning, the non-linear path of knowledge and how these segue to ‘becoming.’ Although, that moment of self-actualisation we seek or reaching the mountain top does not come at the same time or in the same way for any of us. And we have to be patient from our sideline position. We have to trust the process. We have to remember also, that losing and missing out are important components of future winning. We have to remember in the words of Saint Ignatius Loyola, Spanish Priest, theologian and thinker, “we learn only when we are ready to learn.” St. Ignatius reminds us that education is not confined to classrooms; it can happen anywhere and at any time: if we allow it. And thus, as adults, as we inhabit more than our fair share of sidelines real and metaphoric, during the rundown to the finish line, let us all be gracious in allowing our young people ‘to become’ … a process that is uneven, at times uncomfortable, messy, deeply disappointing and … often wildly exhilarating. Let us enjoy each and every facet and be gracious in the spaces where alignment with expectation is not met in performance or outcome. It is here, in this place, which can feel unpleasant, unsatisfactory and uninvited that the greatest learning and hence the greatest opportunity to become, can occur. If we, as adults who should know better, don’t mess with ‘the becoming.’ “Another ball game lost! Good grief!” Charlie moans. “I get tired of losing. Everything I do, I lose!” “Look at it this way, Charlie Brown,” Lucy replies. “We learn more from losing than we do from winning.” “That makes me the smartest person in the world!” replies Charlie. Win some. Learn some. Become. 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